6 steps to becoming a financial guru.

Steps to becoming a financial guru.

1. The obvious first step is to actually write it in your bio. “I am a financial guru”. The bio adheres to the same rules as the internet, if it is in the bio it is true.
2. Always appear to be right.  In order to be right you have to make so many predictions that no one can keep up. Tweets are saved for a minimal amount of days, it is the secret weapon of the financial guru.
3. Take advantage of your success.  Eventually you are going to be right, tell everyone.  Make sure you retweet yourself a minimum of 3 times.  Screen capture the tweet to show your friends and families and potential mates.
4. Handle all confrontation the same.  When facing confrontation explain that the technique is too complicated to explain in 140 character and that you do not give it away for free. If all else fails refer to 3 and the screen capture.
5. Be friends with everyone.  If you are going to be a true guru you need to follow at least 5x the number of followers you have.  I will do the math.  If 100 people are following you make sure you are following 500 people. You can subtract 2 for every follower that is “make money at home” ,”guru of (fill in the blank)”, and “check out my pictures” in their bio.  If 90/100 fit in those categories, you only need 320 followers. After all, you are going after quality.
6. Change your name if necessary. If you really want to set yourself apart call yourself a ninja or rock star or a ninjastar .
7. Math is an art it is not a science.  Confuse people by converting “real” profits to foreign currencies priced in 1880′s gold.
8. Be polarizing. Make sure that each of your predictions begins with a question, like “Gold to the Moon?” or “Is $DELL doomed?” However, from time to time, you must make a bold call, such as “Why the top might be in”. (from @benkotrader)

Before anyone gets subconscious I was not talking about you.  After reading this article, I realize I was making some of these twitter mistakes.  Add to the steps or let me know how I should modify the steps in the comment section.

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