What having a girlfriend taught me about trading.

I have been thinking about why traders fail, in fact it is the subject of an e-book I am writing.  There seems to be a meme going around about traders not being able to make money.  The discipline/patience/investment that is required to be successful is the same as it takes for a relationship.

Like a relationship, you must give up something for the other person.  The other person must be more important than yourself, at times.  You make these sacrifices for the bigger picture but without any guarantees.

What you are willing to give up is related to what you think you can get back.  You are willing to go through the hard times if there is a reward in the future.

I talk with battered traders all of the time.  They start trading and lose money.  It is easy to get a trading account but hard to be a trader.  They have just been abused by trading and have not gotten anything in return.  Some need time to heal but some will never put themselves at risk.  They are half assing it and slowly dying.

I am going by my experience and yours maybe different but I had an almost idealistic version of trading and relationships for that matter.  That screwed me, fortunately I had someone that helped me pick up the pieces and put me back in line.  My expectations and what I needed to get to fill those expectations, that seem to come so easily to other, was so far off I blush when I think about it.

Do you think it is easy to not take a trade or not say fuck it or not move a stop or do my homework, or even sometimes just crawling out of bed?  It is not always easy but what makes it easier is that I know that it will eventually pay off.  May be not tomorrow but eventually.  It always does, I have experienced it and I have seen others experience it.

I am not saying to be reckless with your money, time, or your heart.  You have to be smart about it and learn from it. What I am saying is if you are half assing it to stop, you are going to cause unrepairable damage.  If you can’t see the reward you will never be able to withstand the hard parts.

They say give love a chance and you should do the same with trading. Put yourself in a good position before you give up. My first girlfriend did not work out exactly how I would have wanted it but it helped me understand what was important and what it took to succeed.  It was a painful experience but I learned not to half ass anything I wanted to succeed.  Part of making the sacrifice is being able to see a return.  If you can’t see a reward you wont be able to make the sacrifice. <end rant>

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  • you said it better than I did http://tarhinitrade.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-your-crappy-relationship-isnt.html 

    same thinking though 🙂 

  • There is a 100% direct correlation between what you put in to what you get out.  Applies to trading and relationships.

  • Taught me getting the last tick is worth much less than a bulging bikini top and an afternoon on the beach – every day of the week.

  • BigJohn

    This is the gayiest shit that i have ever read about trading. Whats next? How understanding menstrual cycle unlocks the secrets to trading?

4 Responses to What having a girlfriend taught me about trading.

  1. Tarhini_smb says:

    you said it better than I did http://tarhinitrade.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-your-crappy-relationship-isnt.html 

    same thinking though 🙂 

  2. Nicola says:

    There is a 100% direct correlation between what you put in to what you get out.  Applies to trading and relationships.

  3. Taught me getting the last tick is worth much less than a bulging bikini top and an afternoon on the beach – every day of the week.

  4. BigJohn says:

    This is the gayiest shit that i have ever read about trading. Whats next? How understanding menstrual cycle unlocks the secrets to trading?

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